Stoned is a real mess of a movie. It purports to tell the story of Brian Jones, founder and guitarist of the Rolling Stones, who was found dead in his swimming pool on July 2, 1969, accompanied by the usual speculation about how exactly he died. The film explores the theory that the foreman of a work crew doing renovations on Jones' farm was the guilty party. But if you actually want to learn something about Jones, the Stones, why the band's music is important, and the key role Jones played in establishing their sound, style, and legacy, you're well advised to look elsewhere.

Stephen Woolley, in his directorial debut, elects to tell the tale in a non-linear fashion, meaning you're constantly jumping back and forwards in time. If you're familiar with the Stones' story, this won't be a problem, but I can imagine it confusing those who aren't up on their Stones trivia. The bulk of the film is set towards the end of Jones' life, when his drug use led to the Stones kicking him out of his own group. It's around this time that Frank Thorogood, a builder, war vet, and yer basic good ol' bloke, enters Jones' life.

Most accounts have Jones (played by Leo Gregory) as the hapless, put-upon victim, too drug-addled and weak to deal firmly with the work crew who came to hold him in contempt. Stoned reverses the story; here's it's Thorogood (Paddy Considine) who starts out as well-intentioned and ends up being corrupted by the sins of his master. Jones comes across as an effete layabout; much is made of his alleged musical prowess, but you barely see him make any music in this film. He's also accustomed to being waited upon, which initially grates on Thorogood (indeed, Jones comes across as so thoroughly unpleasant, one wonders why no one had taken the trouble to drown him before). But eventually, in spite of the occasional degradation and humiliation Thorogood's sucked in by the perks of the superstar lifestyle lazy hours, good drugs, easy women. It's an interesting premise, that, properly explored, might have made a good film, along the lines of The Servant or, more recently, High Art (there's also an obvious parallel with the power-plays in Performance, starring one Mick Jagger). Unfortunately, Stoned loses its way, ever-so-pleased to throw montage after montage at you, which attempt to capture the dizzying vortex of fame, but end up being all flash, and no substance. The film dwells heavily on Jones' hedonistic revels, seemingly as an excuse to get more naked women on the screen (there is briefly some male nudity as well).

Stoned eventually becomes mired in clichˇ, as in a scene where Jones drops acid, the background music's cued up, and it's actually turns out to be the Jefferson Airplane's "White Rabbit," which has been used in tripping scenes for, oh, about 40 years now. Then, as Jones is cracking up toward the film's end, the backing music is Bob Dylan's "Ballad of a Thin Man" (performed by Kula Shaker), with its line about something happening, but you don't know what it is, do you, Mr. Jones?, which drives the point home with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer to the brain. The shorthand style with which a 90-minute film has to tell its story also results in such scenes of hilarity as one where Jones' girlfriend, Anita Pallenberg (Monet Mazur), shouts at her downwardly spiralling lover, "I can handle the drugs! Keith can handle the drugs!" Yes, and Pallenberg and Richards' lives post-Jones show just how well they handled them. I'd really been looking forward to seeing this film, but I have to say Stoned ended up being quite a disappointment. If you must, you can check it at the Varsity.

Also opening this month is Summer Storm, a sweet German film I saw at last year's SIFF. The film concerns unrequited love among teenagers, the twist being that it's the gay Tobi's love for his rowing teammate, the very straight Achim. Complications, as they say, ensue. Everything comes to a boil during a stint at a summer rowing camp, where there's even a gay rowing team on hand (who call themselves Queer Strokes) to tweak the homophobes. This film got a bit melodramatic for my tastes toward the end. But it beats U.S. teen fare (of any sexual persuasion) hands down. See it at the Harvard Exit.

I want to put in a plug here for the Fifth Avenue Theatre. Their opening nights generally conflict with the BTM's deadlines, so I've missed being able to write about the premiere of The Wedding Singer, for example, based on the film of the same name, and now headed to Broadway (in the fashion of Hairspray, which also premiered in Seattle). I chose to miss The King and I and The Sound of Music this season, but really enjoyed Sweeney Todd, and Wonderful Town should also be worth checking out if you're a fan of the old-time musical; it'll be running through April 9. Next on their roster is Pippin.

© 2006 Belltown Messenger